We tend to think of investments, accumulation of savings, portfolios and other numerical or monetary topics in the realm of financial planning. However, our work is ultimately about leading our clients toward living their best lives possible — in other words, happiness.
Happiness is an elusive concept, though. What is happiness, really? And how do we know if we’re happy or not? Can we be happy sometimes and unhappy at other times?
Merriam-Webster’s definition of happiness is “a state of well-being and contentment.” There are countless definitions of happiness, but many people — us included — believe the answer relates, in large part, to gratitude and anticipation.
How gratitude and anticipation affect happiness
So, why gratitude and anticipation?
According to research in the area of positive psychology, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity and build strong relationships.
For example, a study of couples found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive toward the other person; they also felt more comfortable expressing concerns about their relationship. Along the same lines, managers who remember to say “thank you” to people who work for them may find that those employees feel motivated to work harder.
As for anticipation, research shows that positively anticipating the future is a highly effective way to create positive emotions. Thinking about mentally simulating future scenarios activates the brain’s reward system and releases dopamine. Strategies such as planning, visualization and building aspiration or vision boards can help generate positive future thinking.
Thinking about the future is an underused tool for building emotional health.
A simple but powerful exercise
To help you determine how happy you are, we invite you to go through an exercise we call “Are You Happy?”
Here are the steps:
- Think about your life over the past year, and list 12 things you are grateful for.
- List three things (events, etc.) you are looking forward to in the next two to three months.
- List three traits you admire in each of the persons/loved ones who are sitting with you.
Once you’ve all completed the three steps, take turns sharing what you wrote down. Smiles, laughs and maybe even a few tears will ensue. You may be surprised just how good you and your loved ones feel afterward.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama
Negativity bias: We have to choose to focus on the positive
We each have a lot to be happy about. We each have a lot to be grateful for, to look forward to and to appreciate about our loved ones. Unfortunately, we are constantly being inundated with reports of bad news, and it can be easy to focus on those negative situations instead of the positive ones. It’s a matter of choice.
As humans, we are hardwired to focus on the negative; it’s a survival mechanism that kept our ancestors out of danger. Psychologists call this phenomenon “negativity bias.” In fact, according to the National Science Foundation, 80 percent of our thoughts in any given day are negative! And 95 percent of our thoughts are the same exact thoughts we had the previous day.
When we’re focused on bad news and negative thoughts all day, every day, it’s really difficult to be happy!
Laura Mixon Camacho, PhD, a communication coach at Mixonian Institute, says, “The human brain remembers negative messages, results and possibilities with greater magnitude than positive ones.” In pre-historic times, negativity bias meant remaining alert for potential danger, and that was the key to surviving. But, Camacho says, “Modern times favor humans who not only imagine a better future but who put in the work to make it become reality. Fixating on negative possibilities creates harmful stress that actually shortens lifespans.”
So, although negativity bias may have served us well in the past, it doesn’t serve us well now. We must work on deprogramming our brains from this natural bias. We have to choose to focus on the positive. Happiness is all around us; we just need to ignore some negativity to see it.
________
At FORM, while our role as financial advisors will always have roots in the technical and strategic solutions for your wealth management and planning, our most cherished and valued role is in walking alongside each of our clients to help them live out a better life. We think there is little doubt that a better life starts with, and is anchored in, happiness.
In the next week or two, we challenge you to make time to try this brief but powerful exercise for yourself.
